HUMOR IN UNIFORM

Soon after the War an elderly lady, an unreconstructed Confederate, was trying in vain to cross a crowded street in Union occupied Richmond. A blue-clad officer offered to help. Surprised at his gallantry, she accepted. Once safely on the other side she turned to him and said, "Thank you, young man," adding, with all the benevolence she could muster, "If there's a cool spot in hell, I hope you get it."

After the Yankees occupied New Orleans, Gen. Benjamin "Beast" Butler was informed that Father Abram Ryan refused to hold funeral services for deceased Union soldiers. Father Ryan was called before Butler to explain himself. "General, you have been mis-informed," smiled the priest. "I would be pleased to conduct funeral services for all the Yankee officers and men in New Orleans."

Zebulon Vance, North Carolina's governor, was imprisoned for a time after the War. He quizzed his guards with a riddle.

"How were Lazarus and the C.S.A. alike?"
The Yankee troops could not guess the answer.
"Both were liked by a pack of dogs."

A Confederate veteran was walking down the street of a Northern city, accompanied by his young son, when they came upon a former Union soldier begging. The old Federal had lost one arm, an eye, and both legs. The Southerner stopped, took a $5 gold piece from his pocket, and dropped it into the beggar's cup.

"Daddy," said the son, "I thought you didn't like Union soldiers."
"I don't, son," was the reply.
"Then why did you give him a $5 gold piece?"

"Because," said the ex-Confederate, "that's the first Yankee I ever saw that was shot-up to my specifications."